Frustration! Exercise and Health

I went to my first exercise class this morning. It was Gentle Yoga (basic flexibility and balance improvement). I was the youngest person there by at least 20 years. I struggled with a number of the moves. I struggled with feeling out of breath. I struggled with the weight of my stomach as it obstructed my ability to LIE DOWN without feeling nauseous.

I know that the last 10 years have added a lot of weight. I can see it in the mirror. I had lost touch with how that weight and the last 10 years have effected my flexibility and stamina. 

I used to amaze my Personal Trainer with my range of motion and balance doing some of her hardest routines. She used to struggle to find ways to actually help me stretch before a workout - because I was so flexible that it felt like nothing. I used to amaze my sexual partners with the way we could play with my flexibility and torque and stamina. (TMI? Sorry!)

Now, I can't keep up with women and men 20 years my senior in a YOGA class. A class that is designed to have less impact than a Beginning Yoga class. 

I know this is the beginning and I know that the beginning will continue to be hard and frustrating. I also know that as I lose the weight and keep going to the classes that it will all come back and I will be able to move to the more difficult/higher impact classes and routines again. And, it is only day 12 on MF. But knowing and internalizing are completely different things.

One day at a time. I am trying to repeat that as my mantra. I am trying to focus on the SUCCESS of the fact I went to the class and did what I could do. On the success of each step. But this goal oriented person is struggling. A lot. I don't compare myself to other people. But it is super hard to not compare the me now to the me I used to be. 

So, here's what I will say: my FitBit registers that I have already walked over 3000 steps BEFORE noon. And, climbed 6 flights of stairs. I have done at least 30 minutes of yoga today. (and done 2 loads of laundry). Those are all good things. And, if a friend of mine were saying these things I would be cheering like crazy. Let's see what else I can do!